So.. here we are again..
I'm writing cause it's the best therapy I have.
To sell a story terribly short..
My BF I hiked over 600 miles with, cheated on me with 2 different women approximately a year and half after we got back.
I broke.. every part of me.
My hopes, my dreams, my trust, my love..
it's been a rougher road to overcome than the AT.
I started taking antidepressants to help with the severe anxiety our breakup and the breach of trust brought.
I met a guy who wanted to be there for me but was ultimately not sound enough in his own self and emotions to help.
I reconnected with someone I had loved for awhile only to have been labeled "too complicated" for his militaristic indoctrinated life.
I was stressed at a job I wanted to love.
I was depressed, unfulfilled, and anxiety ridden.
In November, I contemplated death.
In December, my job betrayed me. I was their scapegoat, their broken puppet... their whipping boy.
In January, is had enough. I told them to fuck off.
In February, a friend told me I "fucked her over" when I was trying to propell myself forward.
In march, I contemplated suicide.. and promptly took myself off my antidepressants.
In march, I reconnected with someone I loved. He made me feel guilty about our carnal desires and I felt like I had done something wrong.
Tonight. He proved I can't trust him.
However I'm lucky for such good friends. And now a great new job!!
